it done broke down - 6. the two bobs

by nick nelson

part six of 13

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well, spit it out. don’t keep me in suspense. all right, then. first you told me that bob jones was a bum that did not have any money, and that cindy and the other women in town were attracted to him despite that fact. um - did i say that? yes, you did. and then just a few minutes later, you said of the same bob jones, and i quote directly from my notes, “if you had his money, you would burn yours,” unquote. oh, i know what i happened. what happened? i got bob e jones and bob f jones mixed up. they were cousins. bob e jones was the hot young stud who made the ladies gasp, and it was bob f jones who had all the money. it all comes back to me now. i see. and which one of them did our friend cindy - decrepit, one foot in the grave , forty year old cindy, take an interest in? ' both of them, in different ways. you know what women are like. no, my friend , i do not know what women are like. i do know that i have just awarded you two more demerits for that incredibly offensive remark, and you are now teetering on the edge. the edge of what? i think we both know the answer to that. what happened to the pencil and the notebook where i was going to write everything down? i got distracted. it was all your fault. i am sorry. wait here while i get you a pencil. why don’t you get me a sandwich, too. maybe. robin hood got up and left the room, leaving the narrator to his thoughts. or to the pleasure of emptying his mind after trying to answer robin’s foolish questions. as robin hood was walking down the brightly lit corridor to the supply room, who should he see but maid marian, coming out of the exercise room with a small barbell in her hand. robin wondered if he should ask marian to get the narrator a sandwich. it would give him an excuse to speak to her. but he thought better of the dangerous impulse, which marian might interpret as an arrogant assertion of privilege on his part, asking her to perform such a menial task. in the end robin simply nodded to marian as she passed him, idly twirling the small barbell in her delicate hand. another opportunity lost! for what is life, but an endless chain of lost opportunities? next