Wednesday, March 27, 2013

the children, part 4: athelbert and zorine

by ferdinand de fort

illustrated by rhoda penmarq

click here for previous episode

click here to begin at the beginning

athelbert, a gentleman of imposing lineage, immense wealth, impeccable taste, and inquiring mind, planned an elaborate dinner for some select friends.

he did nothing hastliy, and planned the affair for several years before issuing his invitations.

all who were invited were asked to bring an original artwork to the dinner, in order that the conversation could have some starting points that could be reasonably be considered interesting and civilized.

athelbert was immensely gratified when all who had been invited, accepted.

all who knew athelbert at all well, and many who knew him only by reputation, knew that he did not care to be upstaged or outdone in any endeavors. therefore all who had been invited fully expected that he would himself have a work to display at the dinner, of the most ambitious concept and most spectacular execution.

the first to accept was the countess zorine de z-------, his oldest friend. athelbert and zorine had been introduced to each other when they were two years old.

athelbert at that time had been in the care of his uncle, cardinal a------------, who was serving as the pope's ambassador to the kingdom of antarctica, at the time of the most intense negotiations prior to the outbreak of the hostilties of may, 1------.

zorine was the natural daughter of the comtesse albertine de z........., one of the foremost natural philosophers and explorers of that vanished age, who had accepted the invitations of the holy roman emperor and the son of heaven to investigate the possible existence of an ancient civilization buried under the south pole.

the sudden outbreak of hostilities effectively isolated the inhabitants of antarctica for the duration of the war.

cardinal a-------, disheartened and disquieted by the turn of events, which seemed to contradict the prophecies of a golden future which he had been promulgating for decades, retired to his book-lined study, and spent the war perusing his matchless collection of ancient manuscripts.

the comtesse albertine effectively became ruler of antarctica, and used the occasion to exercise those qualities of despotism and capriciousness which had simmered unchecked in her soul since birth.

with the cardinal locked in his library, and the countess traversing the icy wastes of the continent in search of humans and other living creatures to regiment and torment, the two children were left to their own devices, and to each other's constant company.

antarctica was now isolated from the wider world by the impenetrable blockade of the navy of the kingdom of g------------. but such were the existing supplies of food, clothing, fuel and servants that athelbert and zorine not only suffered no privations in the first years of the conflict, but were able to indulge themselves in any and all such amusements and games as they could devise.

artistic productions and games became their lives.

they would remain athelbert' s chief preoccupations even as he grew older.

zorine, even at a tender age, was more interested in power, and in the cruelties and humiliations that power could indulge. athelbert, along with her nursemaids - who under the circumstances were in no position to resign their offices - became one of the first creatures on whom she could test her abilities.

zorine never scrupled to avail herself of those subtle powers and privileges assigned by convention to the fair sex.

athelbert, more diffident, and solely concerned with his arts and games, made little or no use of his masculine prerogatives.

fortunately for athelbert, as they grew older it became apparent that he was quite immune to the heaviest weapons that zorine, or any other human female, could train on him.

not that he was immune to love itself. but cupid's rays manifested themselves from another direction, and from what many would consider an unseemly early age athelbert's glazed gaze lingered upon the martial forms of those guardsmen and soldiers fortunate enough to find themselves in the frozen continent, safe and bored, but far from the maelstrom of war. in particular, the fabrics of young athelbert's dreams were woven almost nightly with the mighty musculature and swirling mustachios of lieutenant m......, the commander of the cardinal's guard.

but that , dear reader, is another story, which we may embark on later, time and our supply of paper permitting.

thus were the trajectories and priorities of athelbert's and zorine's existences set.

athelbert's, on art and love.

zorine's , on power and cruelty.

but they always remained the best of friends, through the vicissitudes of war, and the longueurs of peace.

we return now to the morning after news of the declaration of war had reached antarctica.

cardinal a............, having announced to his staff his intention of spending the war in his library, was attending to the details and logistics of his move.

the first consideration was his sleeping arrangements. the ambassadorial palace had a differently carved and decorated four poster in every bedroom, and the cardinal had heretofore considered it as beneath his dignity to sleep in the same suite every night as he would have to be served the same dinner every evening.

now, in the straitened circumstance of his withdrawal from the world, and because he did not wish to displace any of his beloved books or artworks, he had resolved to move one, and only one, of these humble pallets to his library floor.

but which one?

his favorite, and the oldest, which had adorned the blue suite, had the disadvantage of being the largest. it was reputed to have belonged to the b-------- family, of immortal infamy, and the artworks on its posts and panels told a tale which might be all too illustrative of the sad fate which had overtaken the cardinal and his world.

the tale it told was as follows.

oswaldo, a powerful duke in the days of the second two hundred year's war, was courted by all the sides of that conflict because of the strategic importance of his magnificently appointed castle. magnificently appointed, that is, for the art of war, as the duke had no interest in any other art.

duke oswaldo had no sons, but four beautiful daughters. it would be difficult to say, whether he was more humiliated by the lack of a son, or exasperated by the conduct of the four fair ones.

one dark evening, as a storm was raging in the valley beneath the castle, a lone horseman was spied coming up the pass by one of the duke's sentries...

5. the house on the hill

Sunday, March 3, 2013

the last one last job, part 3: cold afternoon

based on an original proposal by Prof. Dan Leo

script by roger "pegleg" wilson

illustrations by roy dismas and danny delacroix

for previous chapter, click here

to begin at the beginning, click here

it was a cold december afternoon, with rain streaking the windows at san francisco police headquarters.

as long as i've been here, thought mona, there are still one or two at every press conference - old enemies, and sometimes new enemies, out to get her.

the district attorney adjusted her tie and stepped up to the front of the podium.

"all right, let's get started."

the two tv camerapersons present aimed their cameras at the d a. one had a camera on his shoulder, the other had a small pistol-like camera in one of her hands and a steaming paper cup of coffee in the other. they both looked bored.

that was fine with mona. maybe they would not get anything that the stations would want to use.

most of the seven or eight reporters gathered stopped talking and looked straight ahead with straight or mockingly respectful faces. the two most alert looking were mona's enemies - jerry "the jumper" jernigan from the standard , and bella "boom boom" beauregard from the bugle.

jerry was a tormentor from way back in mona's days as a porn star, before she had joined the police force and worked her way up to chief homicide detective.

boom boom, from the aggressively right wing bugle, was her newest and most implacable foe, although mona didn't know what she had done to deserve her enmity - besides being black, that is. it wouldn't be because mona had been a porn star, because boom boom had been one herself - and of a later generation , so they had never been rivals.

"we know you are all in a hurry to get your stories taped and filed, " the district attorney was saying, '"so unless anyone has questions specifically for me, i will turn it over to detective malaika,"

nobody had any questions specifically for the district attorney so she stepped back and mona took her place.

"thank you. first off , i am here to discuss the murders being described in the media as - " mona checked her notes to get it exactly right - " the zombie negative 5.748 murders. is anyone here for any other reason? no? good - "

jerry the jumper spoke up. "you had to look at your notes to see what the case is called? you must really be on top of it."

"i was checking my notes, jerry, to see what the media - especially the all-powerful non-print media - was calling it. the - " mona checked her little notebook again - " term 'zombie negative 5.748' has not surfaced in our investigation other than in the media. nor are we referring to it as such in our developing files. i can tell you that much."

carlos "the caterpillar" chavez from the tribune spoke up. "you say 'the media'. isn't everything media these days? what isn't media?"

"an excellent point, carlos. i should have said, 'print and electronic media'."

"isn't everything electronic? " asked jerry. "isn't everything made of electrons?"

"thank you, jerry. does anybody have any intelligent questions?"

"ohhhhh - " so jerry got his moan in. might as well get it over with. this was his neverending way of referring back to mona's days as a porn star, where her schtick had been making maximum noise - she had been "mona the moaner" and "the black panter."

"i have a question."

"yes, bella."

"you say the number - whatever it is - hasn't come up. except online, i guess. but are you following up on it? surely it must mean something."

"well, not necessarily. but we have followed up."


"by forwarding it to the federal mystic numbers unit at oak ridge tennessee."

bella smirked. this was the answer she wanted. "how useful are they? isn't that kind of a waste of the taxpayers money?"

"that is not for me to say. we follow up in every possible way on a case like this - where womens lives are in danger."

"how thoughtful. but i think it is for you to say - as a free and responsible member of an independent media, enquiring on behalf of a taxed and spent public, i think it is for you to say."

"i authorized the request to contact the mystic numbers unit. make of it what you will."

"did you contact any other unit - like the werewolf unit, the vampire unit, the paranormal unit, any of that?"

"i make use of any unit that is available and that is relevant to any evidence we have. "

"how about the ghoul unit?"

"i didn't know there was a ghoul unit. if there is, and if you have any evidence that ghouls were involved in any of the cases under consideration, please - contact us."

bella rolled her eyes at her fellow reporters. they mostly looked bored. the young woman with the hand held camera was sucking on her coffee and did not seem to be pointing her camera at mona.

"go ahead and laugh," mona went on. "but this is the world we live in. i repeat , as long as womens lives are endangered, we will use all the resources available."

"i have another question," bella replied.

"that's what i'm here for."

"i heard that mack treacher - your ex-husband mack treacher - might be a suspect in these murders."

"if you have any information relating to his involvement, bella, i hope you do your duty as a citizen as share it with the police. it would be the first such information we have. does that answer your question?"

"have you seen mack lately?" bella asked.


"i saw him the other day, staggering through the bleak and desperate dawn like a gin-soaked zombie, like a thousand pale demons and icy-fanged dogs were trying to drag him back to hell. he looked like shit - like he'd been scraped out of the bottom of the shit machine."

"that sounds better than the last time i saw him. any other questions? jerry? "

"how certain are you that all these murders are committed by the same person?'"

"64.7% certain."

"that leaves a lot of room."

"indeed it does. but it is what we have at this time. anybody else? come on, you all wanted this meeting, or at least your editors did."

the rain started beating a little harder on the windows.

4. boom boom takes charge