Showing posts with label the children. Show all posts
Showing posts with label the children. Show all posts

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

the children, part 5: the house on the hill

by t j houndstooth and "the chuckler"

illustrated by danny delacroix and eddie el greco

click here for previous episode

click here to begin at the beginning







"you wished to see me, aunt willemina?"

"indeed i did, jonathan."

"may i be seated?."

"certainly. make yourself comfortable."

"thank you."

"as you may have surmised, jonathan, the recent social upheavals have made it necessary to consider some economies in the household."


"and you wish to consult me on them? why, aunt, i am flattered. i have never considered myself much of a hand at such matters, but i would be happy to be of service, if you think i can be."

"no, jonathan. i am afraid i did not summon you to ask for your advice. i have already made my decisions. i have decided to reduce the household by dispensing with some of the more superfluous members of it."

"that is all very well, aunt, but dammit, we have barely enough servants as it is. by god, the next thing you know we'll be expected to draw our own baths - or iron and starch our handkerchiefs !" jonathan settled more comfortably into his chair.

"i was not thinking of reducing the staff."

"well. what then? are you going to close off one of the wings of the house? that would be deuced awkward - not to mention damned depressing."


"not that either. look here, jonathan, since you can not take a hint, i will be blunt. some of the junior members of the family will have to go. beginning with yourself."

"ha ha. you are pleased to be droll tonight, aunt."

"have you ever known me to be droll?"



to be continued


Wednesday, March 27, 2013

the children, part 4: athelbert and zorine

by ferdinand de fort

illustrated by rhoda penmarq


click here for previous episode

click here to begin at the beginning





athelbert, a gentleman of imposing lineage, immense wealth, impeccable taste, and inquiring mind, planned an elaborate dinner for some select friends.

he did nothing hastliy, and planned the affair for several years before issuing his invitations.

all who were invited were asked to bring an original artwork to the dinner, in order that the conversation could have some starting points that could be reasonably be considered interesting and civilized.

athelbert was immensely gratified when all who had been invited, accepted.

all who knew athelbert at all well, and many who knew him only by reputation, knew that he did not care to be upstaged or outdone in any endeavors. therefore all who had been invited fully expected that he would himself have a work to display at the dinner, of the most ambitious concept and most spectacular execution.

the first to accept was the countess zorine de z-------, his oldest friend. athelbert and zorine had been introduced to each other when they were two years old.

athelbert at that time had been in the care of his uncle, cardinal a------------, who was serving as the pope's ambassador to the kingdom of antarctica, at the time of the most intense negotiations prior to the outbreak of the hostilties of may, 1------.

zorine was the natural daughter of the comtesse albertine de z........., one of the foremost natural philosophers and explorers of that vanished age, who had accepted the invitations of the holy roman emperor and the son of heaven to investigate the possible existence of an ancient civilization buried under the south pole.

the sudden outbreak of hostilities effectively isolated the inhabitants of antarctica for the duration of the war.

cardinal a-------, disheartened and disquieted by the turn of events, which seemed to contradict the prophecies of a golden future which he had been promulgating for decades, retired to his book-lined study, and spent the war perusing his matchless collection of ancient manuscripts.



the comtesse albertine effectively became ruler of antarctica, and used the occasion to exercise those qualities of despotism and capriciousness which had simmered unchecked in her soul since birth.

with the cardinal locked in his library, and the countess traversing the icy wastes of the continent in search of humans and other living creatures to regiment and torment, the two children were left to their own devices, and to each other's constant company.

antarctica was now isolated from the wider world by the impenetrable blockade of the navy of the kingdom of g------------. but such were the existing supplies of food, clothing, fuel and servants that athelbert and zorine not only suffered no privations in the first years of the conflict, but were able to indulge themselves in any and all such amusements and games as they could devise.

artistic productions and games became their lives.

they would remain athelbert' s chief preoccupations even as he grew older.

zorine, even at a tender age, was more interested in power, and in the cruelties and humiliations that power could indulge. athelbert, along with her nursemaids - who under the circumstances were in no position to resign their offices - became one of the first creatures on whom she could test her abilities.

zorine never scrupled to avail herself of those subtle powers and privileges assigned by convention to the fair sex.

athelbert, more diffident, and solely concerned with his arts and games, made little or no use of his masculine prerogatives.

fortunately for athelbert, as they grew older it became apparent that he was quite immune to the heaviest weapons that zorine, or any other human female, could train on him.

not that he was immune to love itself. but cupid's rays manifested themselves from another direction, and from what many would consider an unseemly early age athelbert's glazed gaze lingered upon the martial forms of those guardsmen and soldiers fortunate enough to find themselves in the frozen continent, safe and bored, but far from the maelstrom of war. in particular, the fabrics of young athelbert's dreams were woven almost nightly with the mighty musculature and swirling mustachios of lieutenant m......, the commander of the cardinal's guard.

but that , dear reader, is another story, which we may embark on later, time and our supply of paper permitting.

thus were the trajectories and priorities of athelbert's and zorine's existences set.

athelbert's, on art and love.

zorine's , on power and cruelty.

but they always remained the best of friends, through the vicissitudes of war, and the longueurs of peace.

we return now to the morning after news of the declaration of war had reached antarctica.

cardinal a............, having announced to his staff his intention of spending the war in his library, was attending to the details and logistics of his move.

the first consideration was his sleeping arrangements. the ambassadorial palace had a differently carved and decorated four poster in every bedroom, and the cardinal had heretofore considered it as beneath his dignity to sleep in the same suite every night as he would have to be served the same dinner every evening.

now, in the straitened circumstance of his withdrawal from the world, and because he did not wish to displace any of his beloved books or artworks, he had resolved to move one, and only one, of these humble pallets to his library floor.

but which one?

his favorite, and the oldest, which had adorned the blue suite, had the disadvantage of being the largest. it was reputed to have belonged to the b-------- family, of immortal infamy, and the artworks on its posts and panels told a tale which might be all too illustrative of the sad fate which had overtaken the cardinal and his world.

the tale it told was as follows.

oswaldo, a powerful duke in the days of the second two hundred year's war, was courted by all the sides of that conflict because of the strategic importance of his magnificently appointed castle. magnificently appointed, that is, for the art of war, as the duke had no interest in any other art.

duke oswaldo had no sons, but four beautiful daughters. it would be difficult to say, whether he was more humiliated by the lack of a son, or exasperated by the conduct of the four fair ones.

one dark evening, as a storm was raging in the valley beneath the castle, a lone horseman was spied coming up the pass by one of the duke's sentries...




5. the house on the hill



Wednesday, February 13, 2013

the children, part 3: amateur marksman

by t j houndstooth and "the chuckler"

illustrated by konrad kraus and danny delacroix

click here for previous episode

click here to begin at the beginning





this is it, thought maitland as the "children" approached - what good does all my cool do me now - all the talks i gave to bored communications consultants - all my brilliant post-chomskian analyses of the complete meaninglessness of language - my devastating synthesis of post-foucaultian counter-dynamics...

he remembered his mother and sister singing hymns back in the little church in guyana - he remembered them singing but could not remember the words or music...

yes, you thought you had it made, didn't you, maitland? ha ha ha ha ha....

it all comes back to you now, doesn't it? it all began on that night in georgetown... the stars were shining brightly in what seemed to you at the time a virtual parody of a carribean moonlit night... you were bored... but then you were born bored, weren't you? dempsey sat beside you at the table outside nick's italian restaurant - your favorite, insofar as you could be said to have a favorite... of anything...

there, there, i will stop teasing you... what difference does it make now,anyway? but we know what happened .... how "inevitable" it all seems now, doesn't it?

............

"this carlotta person i was telling you about, you remember?" dempsey began tentatively.

"carlotta? i am not sure that i do remember, " maitland replied with his habitual air of evasiveness, as he stared out over the barely rippling water.



"the one who came here to work for poor forester. got left high and dry after his unfortunate demise."

"oh yes. well, what about her?"

"she might have something in your way." dempsey lowered his voice, although there was no one else on the patio.

"my way? i didn't know i had a way."

"you said you were bored - "

"i did? well, i am always bored. i shouldn't talk about it - what could be more boring than talking about being bored, eh? my apologies, old fellow."

dempsey ignored this and continued in an even lower voice. "and you said you were looking for excitement?"

"i did?" maitland blushed slightly. "oh dear, i must have been quite smashed altogether to say such a thing. " he had in fact, been smashed quite often since his breakup with jeffrey and marian - a circumstance he would have ascribed to boredom rather than heartbreak.

"in any case," dempsey pressed on, "carlotta has a plan that involves some excitement - and some money of course, always the main thing. she was looking for an accomplice and i told her i might know of someone. i didn't give her your name, of course."

"of course," maitland answered absently. "but why not yourself? not exciting enough? not money enough?"

"they want someone with experience of firearms. and i have none to speak of."

"experience of firearms?"

"yes, didn't you tell me you used to be quite the amateur marksman?"

"i was, but i was shooting at targets, not people."

"no matter, at least you know which end the bullet comes out of, which is more than i do. and where the safety is, and all that sort of thing."

"you said 'they' wanted someone - so she already has someone - at least one accomplice?"

"oh, yes. just the one - i think. i think that is why they are looking for someone."

maitland looked out over the water. "and for what exactly? did she give you any indication? please don't tell me they are planning to rob the casino."

the lights of the casino, though miles away, could be seen on the other side of the bay - the casino, last bastion of mammon, guarded by all the remaining firepower and most of the remaining centurions of the collapsing black holes of "western civilization".

and the last thing on earth functioning twenty four hours every day,

"oh, i don't think so," dempsey answered maitland. "this fellow seemed much too - too level headed for that."

"so you talked to him?"

"once or twice. i have seen him here and there, at benway's, at chatterton's, places like that. before carlotta mentioned her proposition to me, you understand."

maitland blinked and yawned. "it all sounds a bit vague."

"isn't everything? when was the last time anybody guaranteed you anything?"

"i still have this drink in my hand. it is only half finished. i think i can guarantee i will finish it."

dempsey rolled his eyes. "are you interested in carlotta's offer or not?"

"this level -headed fellow - anything else you can tell me about him?"

"not really. calls himself purvis - of course you can call yourself anything you please these days. when i said he was level headed i meant he didn't seem like someone who would do anything not to his own immediate advantage - or like someone you would want to cross."

"oh? bit of a ruffian?"

"a bit? the roughest of the rough, i'd say."

for the first time maitland showed some interest. "the roughest of the rough? he sounds like he might be just the man for me. is he good looking? how old is he?"

"um - i really don't think you will find much in that line here."

"i will be the judge of that, my dear. so is he good looking?"

"i don't know - wouldn't stand out in a crowd, i suppose, except for the mean look on his face. as for his age, i really can't judge such things, especially in men."

"hmm. then i shall have to find out for myself. tell carlotta i am interested - very interested."

.....

and that was how it all began. ha ha ha! yes, i said i wouldn't laugh, but i just can't help it, when i see the look on your face now, maitland. were you trying to shock poor dempsey? he wasn't the least bit shocked, was he? and look at you now.

of course, who can say that things might not have turned out the same in any case? you might have found some other reason to stay, back when there was still a chance to flee - when the fleeing was good - or you might have stayed behind out of sheer laziness?

and those who fled - like jeffrey and marian and mrs axelby and colonel faraday and the count - who knows what happened to them? where might they be now, eh?

there really might not be anyplace to go.

ha ha ha ha ha!



4. athelbert and zorine