the dead man - 24. know

by >nick nelson

part twenty-four of 31

for previous episode, click here

to begin at the beginning, click here

jupiter is the biggest planet in the solar system, the pacific is the biggest ocean in the word, and mount everest is the tallest mountain . alexander conquered the world, but he didn’t live to tell the tale. buddha sat under a tree. but confucius was the wisest man who ever lived, and sun tzu wrote the art of war. noah built the ark, and jonah was swallowed by the whale. solomon was the richest man who ever lived, susannah was the most beautiful woman, and the queen of sheba was the richest woman. joshua fought the battle of jericho, and napoleon lost the battle of waterloo. andy jackson won the battle of new orleans, custer lost the battle of little bighorn, and sitting bull and crazy horse won it jim bowie was killed at the alamo, and so was davy crockett. grant surrendered to lee at appomatax, but the south would have won if wade hampton or quantrill was leading the troops instead of old granny lee. jesse james was shot in the back by that dirty little coward bob ford. delilah cut samson’s hair, salome cut off john the baptist’s head, and the lady in red fingered john dillinger. atlas shrugged, by ayn rand, is the greatest book ever written, not counting the bible. the stand, by stephen king, is pretty good too. johnny cool is the greatest movie ever made. goodfellas and the magnificent seven are second and third, respectively. the ballad of the green berets is the greatest song of all time. gimme shelter by the rolling stones is second. imagine by john lennon is third. mrs mary smith, of colorado springs colorado, was the nicest person who ever lived. take my word for it sheriff bill johnson, of wayward tennessee, was the meanest man who ever lived. i knew him all too well the kennedys killed marilyn monroe. that’s why the cia and the mafia killed jfk. the moon landing - it happened in paris arkansas .. i was there. 9-11 - televised in coral gables florida behind an animal shelter. i was not there but i knew a guy who was. soupy sales never died . george soros turned him into donald trump. and nancy pelosi is really zsa zsa gabor. i am telling you these things because i know. i know because i am the only person really alive, and the world is my dream. i told you what i know. now you tell me what you know. next