poor bill. his problems all began at the mill.
what was the matter with the mill?
it done broke down.
you do not say so. and then what happened?
he went down to the river to shoot his old lady.
are you sure his name wasn’t joe?
yes, of course! it was joe! i get bill and joe mixed up.
by the way, referring to human females of any age as “old ladies” is incredibly offensive. you have been warned.
is that my last warning?
maybe. as you were saying, about bill, or joe as the case may be…
i was confused. it was joe, not bill, who went down to the river to shoot his old lady, i mean his female friend..
if he was going to shoot her, she probably was not his friend any more.
good point. but as i was saying about bill… what was i saying about bill?
the wandering minstrel was telling a story about him, and expressing sympathy for his plight, whatever it might have been.
of course. well, bill had a girl friend - not an old lady, ha ha…
you find respect for women humorous, do you?
no, of course not. i t won’t happen again. and bill had a best friend named bob jones. bob was a handsome fellow who was much admired by the ladies, but he was a bum and did not have a job. bill’s girl friend - i guess the term “girl friend” is all right, right? you have not objected.
ii am not objecting to anything. where did you get that idea? it is you who can not just get on with it.
right. bill’s girl friend -
did she have a name?
cindy williams-fletcher.
two names, huh? was she stuck up?
no, she was the salt of the earth, and always wore a smile.
all right. get on with it, please.
cindy, like all the other women in town, was smitten ….
smitten. that’s an old-fashioned word you don’t hear much any more.
i am an old fashioned person. cindy was smitten with bob jones, but he was a bum and didn’t have any money to take her out and buy her nice things, so she pretended to like bill, who, take it all in all was a pretty dull fellow, because he had a job at the mill and a few dollars in his pocket.
and then what?
then the mill broke down. cindy dumped bill like a sack of hot potatoes.
is that even an expression? was it ever an expression?
it is in professor morgan’s encyclopedia of british and american colloquialisms. the fourth unabridged edition.
all right, i will take your word for it
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